He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
