id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
