if i died would you start the facebook group?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
