The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
