idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
