Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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