I want to have your abortion
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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