Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
