You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
