Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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