Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
