Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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