Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
