so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
