I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
