He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
