Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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