Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
