just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
