my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
