So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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