You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
