You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
