how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He kissed a someone with a penis
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
