I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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