Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
