is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
