so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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