Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
