She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
