Its about making memories worth repressing
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
