Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
