He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
PANTIES FOUND
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