another moral hangover. fuck.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize