his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
