All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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