you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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