his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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