try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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