and you said cock pushups were impossible
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
