I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I accidentally burped into my bong.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So much rum. So many feels.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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