just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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