I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
