We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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