dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
