The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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