just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
