he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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