Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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