I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
