One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
