Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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