last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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