If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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