like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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