I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
