holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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