My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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