I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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