We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
