I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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