Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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