And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My dick has a subreddit
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
