just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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